How do I get refunded for this embarrassment of a product?

You can raise a billing support ticket in the account in question.

https://docs.aws.amazon.com/cur/latest/userguide/billing-get-answers.html http://aws.amazon.com/support

What charges are you expecting to be refunded? Opening an AWS account doesn't accrue any charges, not until resource(s) are provisioned that are chargeable. And many services have a free tier element within the first 12 months https://aws.amazon.com/free/

If you feel you have been billed for something that you shouldn't have, create a billing support case https://support.console.aws.amazon.com/support/home#/case/create

If you want to close your account the instructions are here https://repost.aws/knowledge-center/close-aws-account

Close your account

To close your AWS account, do the following:

1. Sign in to the AWS Management Console as the root user of the account.
2. In the navigation pane, choose your account name, and then choose Account.
3. Scroll to the Close Account section.
4. Read and understand the terms of closing your account.
5. Choose Close Account.

Within a few minutes, you receive email confirmation that your account is closed.

Also see https://docs.aws.amazon.com/accounts/latest/reference/manage-acct-closing.html